Jodi Jarrett, licensed professional counselor and national certified counselor with Finding Me PLLC in Aubrey, Texas, models radical self-care in her own life to create space for her clients to practice it.
"We preach self-care, we teach self-care, but the systems are not there to support it," Jarrett says. "(Self-care) is radical advocacy and activism. I've had to make some difficult changes in my private practice because I try to do it all. It started with, ‘Who am I? What do I want? What do I need? What do I need to affirm who I am?'"Radical self-care isn't new: Although the Black Lives Matter movement amplified the concept, the Black community led the idea of radical self-care during the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. And Audre Lorde's words in her 1988 book, "A Burst of Light," furthered the idea of healing through radical self-care: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Radical self-care begins with radical self-acceptance and a healthy community, says Jarrett. It's about knowing where you belong and that who you are is enough."Everyone can benefit (from radical self-care)," Jarrett says. "For those who hold multiple marginalized identities and have been systematically oppressed or forced to exist in the margins, there's an even more profound need for that radical self-care because we're told to put ourselves behind others."Healing power of radical self-care Joi Lewis, CEO and founder of Joi Unlimited Coaching & Consulting in Minnesota, calls radical self-care a salve. It goes beyond self-awareness; it's about healing the mind, body and soul, she says. "There are two times to practice radical self-care: when you feel like it and when you don't," Lewis says. "It's an invitation into a process of healing those things that are happening in the present and the historical ways in which systems of oppression wreak havoc on our bodies and our minds, and not just individually but collectively."Lewis presented the Orange Method of Radical Self-Care that she created in her 2018 book, "Healing: The Act of Radical Self-Care." Lewis uses personal and community narratives to illustrate the four practices in OM: conscious movement, emotional liberation, meditation and mindfulness. "I want people to see themselves in these stories," she says. The radical self-care Lewis recommends is accessible to everyone and doesn't require much time or money. One practice she encourages with clients is Hand Over Heart Meditation, or simply placing your hand over your heart for one minute each morning. The central nervous system calms and begins to rewire the brain and body to find peace even in stressful situations, she says. "It's the little-bitty things," Lewis says. "If you can incorporate these small practices, your body can get trained."When Lewis works with clients, she asks them to name the activities, songs and people that bring them joy. Time spent in these pleasurable endeavors yields a deposit in the client's energy bank, a metaphor Lewis uses to describe how we can contribute to ourselves. Any challenging or irritating interactions the client faces are withdrawals from the energy bank. Self-care must be practiced every day because we can't always predict a withdrawal, Lewis says."You need to do these practices to fill up your energy account," she explains. "There's nothing wrong with a withdrawal if we have enough deposits to cover it. There are macro, micro aggressions, things that attack our Black bodies and minds."Paving the way to radical self-care Michelle Ellis, a licensed professional counselor and national certified counselor in Jacksonville and an assistant professor and clinical director at Jacksonville University in Florida, references Tricia Hersey's 2022 book, "Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto," when she thinks about the insurgence of radical self-care in recent years."When we think about rest, specifically for African Americans and for persons who are part of the diaspora, rest is our ancestors' wildest dreams," Ellis says. "While it seems incredibly simplistic, it is difficult to sit in the stillness of rest. Rest can be sleep. Rest can be taking a moment for yourself. Slowing down is an example of a radical act."
Ellis assists clients in finding the rest and self-care they need by introducing them to scaffolding and the mandala circle. She asks clients to finish sentence stems to help them identify emotional and physical boundaries and begin radical self-care."Through the challenges are a really beautiful outcome," Ellis says. "We become more healthier and whole individuals on the other side."Setting boundaries Boundary setting within families and friendships is a form of radical self-care. As people question systematic racism, it's up to the individual to decide how, or whether, to address the situation."Part of self-care is self-advocacy," Ellis says. Letting a person know you're not ready for a conversation is putting yourself first, Ellis says. At its extreme, boundary setting could also mean ending a relationship."We all have to assess what we are able to give, what we are capable of giving," Ellis says. "Depending on where we are in our own development as a Black person, we may not be at a place where we are the ones educating friends or family members about how insensitive they are being."
First published in Black Mental Health Today, Summer 2023 (Vol. 8).